Good dates, bad dates and the reason dating gives you a huge list of reasons to date the same person for the rest of your life.

This year for valentines I'm going to recap a years worth of good dates, bad dates and the reason dating gives you a huge list of reasons to date the same person for the rest of your life. Damn Cupid! Date: 2 for 1 Having the guys pick you up and "get you back in the game" after a break up is one of the best gifts a friend can give. As long as these are your grown up "I have a life and wouldn't want to see you sloppy drunk" buddies life's going to be great. But if your "my relationship sucks and I'd love to see yours implode" friends show up that night, turn off the porch light and watch Scrubs. In my case the former showed up and after a night of more drinking then dancing, I was being courted by 2 women at once. What to do? I know...get one over to your place and then position to go on a real date with the other. Guys suck, I've tried to tell you women this for years but alas you'll never listen. After a night of debauchery and an awkward morning with the first date my mind was immediately consumed with talking to the second. You see date one was cute but a little too clingy. This is never a good thing within the first 48 hours (take note). After a phone conversation with the second date, a little coaxing and reassurance that "no I won't date you and your friend at the same time" we met out on the town. I should mention that date two made me work for it...wine and cheese...candles...dessert yeah she wasn't going to make it easy...or was she? Why yes she was and I wasn't going to argue. After a bit of romping I began to feel a bit like man meat (like she was the one in it for the sex not me). From there lets just say I don't envy the way women feel for most of their lives and so it was on to another date. Valentines Day Pillow Fight SF '08 The St. Valentines Day Massacre: When you meet some women you take them out as much for the fact that you think you'll have loads of fun as for the fact you wouldn't mind a romp with them at some point in the near future. Enter my 2008 Valentines date. This date was really fun and by far one of the best of the year. I mean when are you going to get sushi, a 500 person pillow fight (pic above), sangria at an art show, wine tasting and bar hoping all into the same night. While no sparks flew on this date I learned that women think you're really into them if you go overboard on the planning. Male event planners beware, your skills at work should not be translated into your personal life until atleast the 3rd date. Not an ex but she loves our mag! The Triple EX Throw Down: When you're ex's find out your single after a long stint of being off the market it helps to get your caller ID in top working condition. I don't think I've ever been quit so pursued in my entire life. Ex's are tricky though! When the libations are flowing hot and heavy it's easy to remember the "really good" times and forget the reasons YOU'RE NO LONGER WITH THEM. So rather then recap each of these predictable nights of "familiarity" I'll say this...dating is for moving forward not revisiting the past and cupid would tell you the same thing. (As a nod to the Saint himself, back in the day my DeeJay name was Qupid S. Arrow. Yes I thought it was cool, Yes I actually DeeJayed under that moniker, and yes it actually did work on women) The London Police room at Hotel De Art - SF The Coup de Gras: Having someone fly in is always a great and troubling situation. The fact that someone would spend their money to come and see you is probably one of the most flattering gestures an interested datee can make. However knowing there is NO ESCAPE can bring alot of anxiety. So what's cooler then making an escape route if needed? Not needing the escape route at all and wishing they could stay longer. This is how I would describe my date that would be the most significant of the entire year. So what's a great date? Do I even dare to try and answer this question? Of course.... A great date is one where the events are all things you would normally want to do, the conversation is fairly effortless and at the end you're thinking to yourself  "do we finish our conversation or take it to the sheets". Knowing that a conversation will never trump a good romp, it's ok to ask the question as long as you don't really consider the answer either way. A night of walking, talking, drinking, dancing and art is a night that I'd replay over and over again and so I have. The 9 to 5: Walking around San Francisco can be one of the funnest things to do on a date. You can see ALOT of the city, you can find out everything you need to know to make a good decision of future dates and if she's not into walking and lives in the city, she's a "catch and release". Having decided that planning dates was not going to happen for a while I just made sure there was alot going on that day and that our walking route would give us options along the way. This is a great plan if you know something about the person your going on a date with. But if you don't and your discovering things as you go along, walking can be worse then driving in many ways. You see driving means that at any point in the date you can pull a "oh no, that's my mom on the phone and she needs me" or "so yeah, that's all I had planned ok I'll take you home now" but when you're walking and you've made it to the opposite side of town THERE'S NO ESCAPE. There just aren't alot of ways to convince her that the date should be over and she should walk the rest of the way home herself. So what happens? You become best friends with every clock you pass and you realize that you're date has become a second 9 to 5. You've done you're work and you're ready to go but the clock won't speed up and it's better to stay till it's done then leave early and risk not getting a "bonus". The girls love my ace! Finding your valentine: So what's going on for me this valentines day? Over a year into going on more dates then I care to remember, cupid has actually decided to be my friend and forgive me for blaspheming his name for the sake of a lame DeeJay moniker. After making a list of what I'd like to have in a women and then matching that list up to one, I can honestly say that getting calls and texts from other women declaring "Can't meet up...to bad 4 you and for me" or "so you want to stay up late tomorrow night" or "remember our first valentine?" helped me remember without all those dates, I'd never have been able to make my list of reasons to try and keep the same valentine and not collect them.

About the Author

Rai-mon Nemar is an independent lifestyle advocate and the founder of LEGENDmag. With a background in music, coupled with more then 12 years of being an entrepreneur, Rai-mon is a forward-thinking progressive who's life work is synthesizing the independent aesthetic and creating a community for "indies". Visit his blog IndieGuy and follow him on twitter.